Thursday, May 9, 2013

The things I'm most afraid of....

I am a worry wort so I worry about everything. There is a difference between being scared, and worrying.
I'm scared of things that don't effect me in my day to day life.
Like I scared of sharks, scared of
Then there are things that I am scared of that do effect me in my day to day life.
Like getting cancer. I know it sounds dumb, and no it doesn't effect me everyday. But there are days that I think about that and my future and stuff. Breast cancer is in my family, so it's in my bones. It's scary.
Also being a bad parent. I have an amazing mother and an absent father. I'm scared that I'm not going to teach my future children the lessons they need to succeed. I will babysit kids and know, 'gosh I could not do this all day, twenty-four hours a day, forever. I think I'm too selfish in the fact that I love my me time and I love sleep.
That also brings me to another fear. I've said before, 'no I don't want children' and now that I'm getting older I think, 'well if it happens, it happens.' and I'm scared that five-ten years from now I'm going to really want children and not be able to have them. It would be myself to blame because all this time I didn't want them.

It's normal to have fears. We're human.
Some fears we create for ourself- like mine.
There has to come a point where we let those go.

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